Happy New Year 2016!!!!
I have said this once, and I’ll continue to say it until I’m blue in the face, but I LOVE the holiday season! No, I’m not saying “holiday” to be all PC and such…I say “holiday season” because I include New Years Day in this beautiful package. Not only have I been able to spend some good quality time with my favorite people, watching as they thoroughly enjoy their blessings, and personally benefiting from the amazing sales this month (75% off??? Hello new wardrobe!), but I’m also able to take the past year and relish in what I’ve gained…I’m able to look back over the year and see exactly what I have to be thankful for and how I’ve grown. New Years Day is also a huge inspiration and symbol of hope for me. It’s a new beginning and a way to start fresh with anything and pretty much everything.
So, using the lyrics of Great Big World’s awesome anthem to New Years, (go ahead and listen to it while reading…give it a sec, it’ll put a smile on your face!) I’m going to breakdown my resolutions for this year!
“Say everything you’ve always wanted”
This year, I vow to be a bit more strong in my message. I have always been very careful when talking about things I’d like to promote for fear that it would offend someone or put some sort of label on me. (Then again, you can’t post ANYTHING these days without offending someone!) I don’t usually post any of my support for JDRF, American Heart Association, Celiac Disease Foundation, and many others on social media because I fear becoming a “poster child” or “that girl” who’s always pushing her health agenda. I have no intention of being a poster child pushing any type of agenda, but I should not fear being supportive and helping when/where I can! From now on, I won’t hide and instead will be more openly vocal about my involvement. After all, how else does awareness work if you don’t say a word?
On that note, here’s my first step… Jan 5th marks my 2-year kidney-versary!!! Kirby will have been living strongly within me for two years and I plan on celebrating this every single year in honor of his/the transplant team’s success and the life of my precious donor. This year, my mom, my sister and I all had our nails done to celebrate Kirby and my donor, and when anyone asks me what the green ribbon is for, I will gladly tell them. 🙂
“Be not afraid of who you really are”
Part of my resolution above fits this piece of the puzzle. However there is another shallow part of me that also needs some work. I had dinner with a very good friend the other night, and as we talked, I was reminded of my flawed self-perception. I always believed that I was a pretty strong person with a good sense of self, however with every word that came out of my mouth, I realized I still have many improvements to make (don’t we all???). He helped me see that most of my insecurities were things that are unimportant. I speak of vanity and my self-confidence. I have many reasons…no, I rephrase…”excuses” that would justify why I feel the way I do about myself, but I have THOUSANDS more reasons to squash those excuses into dust. I have so much more to offer than a few wrinkles on my face, some chubby cheeks that show up at odd angles, or a few years that have crept up on me all too quickly. I have fought some pretty big battles and won them (health and otherwise). I have made my career my own. I have never stopped going for what I believe in and have always (eventually) come out on both feet. Why should I feel bad about those few shallow things I see in the mirror when everything else is so much cooler than that? 2016 will be my year to finally accept myself as the “me” I am now and not the “me” I used to be (who I kept striving to be again). There is nothing wrong with a smarter, wiser, healthier, and albeit a few years older Nachomama! 🙂 I won’t lie, I will still be attempting to improve my fitness routine in order to look better at an upcoming beach trip, but I also plan on focusing more on the health benefits this time rather than the vanity. Baby steps…
“‘Cause in the end we have each other…and that’s at least one thing worth living for.”
This resolution is a bit different, and it’s something that has been bothering me for awhile. Yes, I try to volunteer for various organizations because I believe in their goals. However, there are times when I still feel as if I can do more. How can I make a more direct impact? What do I have to offer? All I have is what I know, and I believe that we are all encouraged to help others using even just that. This year, to further my pursuit in philanthropy, I plan on using what I’ve learned via my experiences and knowledge to research how I can further help make a difference. I will post more on this as I figure it out!
And that, my friends, is my list of resolutions for 2016. Wait, I have a few more smaller goals (I have to publish them so that you will all hold me to them!):
- to learn a new culture (I kind of already do this whenever I choose a new book to read, however, it’s fascinating and I plan to do more via travel as well)
- to lower my A1C score to below 7
- to be on a more consistent schedule with my blog…hee! (maybe I’ll even take off the “snow” that has been falling on this blog continuously for two years! hahaha… after winter is over, though, of course.)
So, to summarize this exciting initial blog post for the year, I’ll again quote lyrics from this post’s song:
“Another year you made a promise
Another chance to turn it all around
And do not save this for tomorrow
Embrace the past and you can live for now”
Truer words never spoken. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear what your resolutions are!
Things I’m thankful for today:
1. My kitchen is starting to finally feel like a REAL kitchen! Santa brought me some amazing foodie-gadgets that I’ve been eyeing, and one of them was a Kitchen-Aid mixer!!! WOOHOOO! If you have ever tried to bake anything from scratch using a mediocre hand mixer and/or spoon, you will understand the excitement. Thank you Santa! 🙂
2. A very dear family friend of ours has generously blessed us with the use of their vacation home in Hawaii, so my family is going on its first trip to Hawaii this year! I’m so excited I could spit! (I won’t… I’m not a camel…) However, you can absolutely guarantee I’ll be on the search for Alex O’Loughlin the entire time I’m there! 😛
3. Vacation time. For the first time ever, I took off work for the week between Christmas and New Years. WHY have I never done this before??? Sleeping in, cooking all my meals (ie. not having to eat out all the time), getting errands done… finally, relaxing, binge-watching all my shows on Netflix/DVR… yes, I believe I have finally learned the appreciation of true vacation time. Now, I’ve got to retrain my sleeping schedule so that I can get up for work next week. Ugh…
4. Christmas decorations. I think I post this every year, but this year was the first time in 4 years I’ve been able to pull out all of my OWN Christmas stuff to decorate my apartment. I love evenings with the Christmas tree lights on, the fireplace all done up with our stockings, the goofy elf feet and Santa hats I have all over the place! It’s impossible to come home and NOT feel happy!
5. My dad has finally found a doctor who could help him with his ankle. He’s been in tons of pain and has not had an easy time getting around due to injuries that were caused years ago. Now, hopefully, he’ll be able to walk without pain or a limp! Yaay!!! Mom, you’re next! 😀 #TakingCareOfBusiness #TakingCareOfFamily
I’m going to come out and say it… 2012 was a SHITTY year!!! I can honestly say I’ve never seen a year go by with as many disappointments as this past year! However, it takes those horrible valleys to make us truly appreciate the beautiful highlights that keep us hoping for more! So, as we start off the year, I have been thinking about resolutions and how to make this year a rebellious, fingers-flyin’ about-face!
I think we are all aware of how many resolutions get flushed down the toilet because of over ambition, weak willpower, or sheer laziness. I’m just as bad as the next person! I don’t know how many times I’ve said I’d end the year with a beautiful set of long, shiny fingernails (meaning I’d have beat a lifelong habit of biting them down to non-existence), or bought a new gym membership with the hopes of being the next body cast for Victoria’s Secret (I’m not really THAT delusional… but a girl can diva-dream every now and then). However, this year, I’m once again going to put myself out there and make more promises I hope I can keep. The difference this time, is that I’m actually making them public! I mean, literally, I’m publishing them and making them known not only to my pillow, but to the world, in an effort to make sure that you guys will hold me to them!
I’ve said it before, but I’ve got some ridiculously high hopes for 2013! I really believe that this year will be a milestone year that will change my path in more than one way. The obvious writing is on the wall when I say that things will be different, at least health-wise. I pray that this transplant will be soon and successful and that there will not be any complications following the surgery. I also feel that this is a time of opportunities and freedom… not only for me, but for all those who have been involved in this process and have had to make sacrifices to help me get through this circus event. For you, I am always and forever grateful. 🙂
So, here are my resolutions… none of which are quantitative, but all equally important to me. I’ve categorized them into three categories b/c rather than just list them, I’m actually trying to make them a bit more memorable so I don’t forget them.
Berta’s 2013 New Year’s Resolutions
Physical – I will spend more time focusing on my health, not only for the obvious reasons of getting through the surgery, but for preventing further damages that can derail me in life. This has clearly been a very eye-opening experience for me… one that has screamed to me that I’m young and I’ve got some serious changes to make if I’m going to live a long and eventful life. I have resisted going on an insulin pump/continuous glucose monitor because yes, I’m vain and don’t want a machine tied to my hip at all times. Nor do I want to live with a visual reminder that something is different with me. However, after having to tie myself to a dialysis machine every night for the last 6 months, I’m kind of over it. I’ve got to do what I HAVE to do, which is to choose life and push all those vanities aside. I’m no longer going to put my health on the back burner and stop acting like it’s no big deal, b/c it is a pretty big deal.
Professional – I will start getting my career back on track to where I want it to be. I have taken a step back to take care of myself, and in doing so, have taken a side-step in my career. It has not been a bad experience, but it has not been what I want to do, either. Once I’m back on my feet, I plan on channeling my energy back in the direction of where I was headed. Whether that leads me to another position here at E, someplace in another city, or on the moon, I’ll go wherever it leads me.
Personal/Emotional – I am throwing caution to the wind and am going to take more chances. Although most people know me as someone who is carefree and on-the-go (which is mostly true), almost all of my decisions have been very calculated. I know the risk and outcome of almost every single thing I do, leaving me with virtually no surprises. Life is short. It’s time to let go of some of that fear! And though, I don’t plan on being dangerous with my choices, I can let loose a bit and enjoy them more. Bring it on! I also want to do a bit of “polishing”. This whole kidney thing has really opened my eyes to who my true friends are… who’s going to stick around and who doesn’t have the time to be bothered. Initially, it kind of burned a bit, but in the long run, those who have stuck around have turned into the most prized of all my possessions, outshining anything that brought me down to begin with. They deserve to be cherished, and I plan on doing so by doing as much as I can to show them how much they are loved back!
So, there it is in all it’s glory. Let’s see how interesting it is to come back to this post at the end of the year and grade how well I did. 🙂 Hopefully, I’ll be able to post not only the accomplishments, but the pics to prove it. You’ll hold me to it! Now, it’s your turn… what’s YOUR New Year’s resolution? Be brave and publish it for all of us to see!
P.S. After discussing my status on the waiting list with my transplant coordinator, I’ve decided that this will be my last week at work and will take medical leave early. Trying to keep up a tough front is getting to be a bit exhausting and it’s wearing me out. Knowing that the decision and “the call” can be made at ANY DAY, I think it’s best for me to take it a bit easy now. I’ll be online checking in on emails and keeping you updated on the blog, so no worries!
What I’m thankful for today: