Don’t do me like that!

Well, I made it out of the Heart hospital just fine… however, it has been nothing but bad ever since I left.  Turns out the pains in my chest were gastric and not cardiac, but I started noticing that they were only happening when I was draining my dialysis exchanges.  I also noticed that every time I went to try and do a dialysis exchange, it would make me extremely nauseous and I wouldn’t be able to make any progress without vomiting.  Obviously, that’s not how this is supposed to work.  Not only that, but fluid is not all emptying, so it’s collecting in my lungs making it very difficult for me to breathe.  After another night of non-stop vomiting, we were told to go to the ER…again… the day after I left the heart hospital, to make sure there wasn’t an infection keeping me from doing my dialysis.  After TEN HOURS of waiting and doing next to nothing, the ER just sent me back to my doctor to “follow up”.  Thanks.  Nice HUGE waste of my time and money.  The only good thing that came out of that ER trip was knowing that it WASN’T an infection after all.  Thank God!  (If I was in a better mood, I’d share with you some of the very, very interesting people watching we were able to do while there, but that will have to wait for a later post.)

As of right now, though, my health hasn’t improved much since. Yesterday, I was finally able to keep a full meal down, but because I haven’t been able to do dialysis in about 6 days, I’m noticing a huge decline in my daily demeanor…feeling weaker, etc. The doctor just informed me though, that because of the amount of fluid that’s built up in my lungs, I have to start emergency hemodialysis tomorrow. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!

The ONE thing I’ve been trying to avoid all this time, and now I have no choice! My one biggest fear is now something I’m going to have to face. But fear aside, more than anything, I’m so pissed off, I could spit fire right now. I have done everything right, and yet everything has gone wrong. Why can’t I catch a freakin’ break?!

My doctor believes that somehow the catheter has just moved within me so I’ve set up an appt with the surgeon to go back in and move the catheter back into a working position again. I’m not sure how that happened…I haven’t been dazzling anyone with my stellar Cirque du Soleil moves or imitating a scorpion lately, so hopefully this will be an easy fix and I can get back to my PD ways.

—————–

What I’m thankful for today:

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14 responses

  1. So much to be thankful for…

    1. Your heart is working just fine!

    2. You can still get dialysis, although not the way you’d hope, but it will nonetheless give you relief.

    3. You have lived in NJ for part of your life! HaHa!!! L-O-L!!! 😉

    Love u!! xoxo

    1. LOL! Yes, Thank the Lord I’ve lived in NJ for part of my life! 😉 What would I be without my knowledge of good pizza, how to decipher a strong accent and friends like you! 🙂

  2. So much to be thankful for…

    1. Your heart is working just fine!

    2. You can still get dialysis, although not the way you’d hoped, but it will nonetheless give you relief.

    3. You have lived in NJ for part of your life! HaHa!!! L-O-L!!! 😉

    Love u!! xoxo

  3. What I’m thankful for today: I’m thankful I have a friend like you. 🙂

    1. Awwww… thanks Christi! And I’m thankful for friends like you! I needed that… 🙂

  4. I know heamo sucks but I was on it for 6 years prior to my first transplant and the best thing about it is you get to go home and do nothing! Remember this too shall pass. Big hugs from me and the nurses here at the APD training unit as I read your blog out to them. Xx

    1. Thank you soooo much! One of these days I’m going to ask you more about your hemo experience. Maybe it will make me less fearful about it. Say hello to your APD unit for me! 😀

  5. So, this is my 3rd attempt at trying to post a response on this blog. I’m hoping third time’s a charm! My luck…after this goes through, all of them will post (or perhaps i just cant see my own comments?)! What I’ve been trying to say:
    So much to be thankful for…
    1. Your heart is working just fine!
    2. You can still get dialysis, although it’s not the way you’d hoped, nonetheless you will still get relief and feel better.
    3. You lived in NJ for part of your life!! HaHa!!! L-O-L!!! 😉

    Love u!!! xoxo

  6. Today I’m thankful for you Berta! I know you’ve been dealt a crapy hand lately- but know we’re all here praying for you. We love you!

    1. I love you back! Thanks Kameron!!

  7. Ms. Berta, my friend, God has a plan for you. It may be for you to inspire others with your bravery, positive attitude, and perseverance. Even in the mist of turmoil you can find humor and things to be thankful for. I honestly never knew how strong you really were until I started reading this blog. You are without a doubt an inspiration to me, and I would be willing to bet many, many, many other people. You are a fighter. It truly is unfair what you are having to go through, but know that you are inspiring others every day. My prayers go out to you dear friend.

    1. Thanks Julie!! I hope I can help inspire someone…anyone with what I’m going through. I’d hate to know that all of this was for nothing! You guys keep me going, and I can’t think you enough for sticking with me on this journey! 🙂

  8. Sorry to hear about your troubles. That’s got to be rough! Hospital waits are a pain in the butt, aren’t they?

  9. Berta, I am just reading this now, so sorry to hear but stay strong and we are all praying for you every day. I am thankful that you are my friend and an inspiration for being positive. xoxo, Veronica

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