You Come and Go…You Come and Go

For the last week or so, I’ve been dealing with the worst part of this whole kidney thing…Pleurisy.  It’s yet, another aspect of this experience that isn’t shared by many online.  It’s the swelling of the lung lining, and it is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.  Since my kidneys can’t filter out the fluid I drink, it builds up in my body, and I usually get rid of it via dialysis.  Sometimes, though, dialysis isn’t enough and it continues to build up.  When it gathers in my lungs, it makes breathing difficult and feels like someone is stabbing a knife into my chest every time I twist/lift/cough/sneeze/hiccup.  The only thing that’s ever helped get rid of the pain is a steroid shot from the ER…which is exactly what we had to do last week.  They give me hydrocodone too, but that doesn’t ever seem to help much…just makes me sleepy, so I’ve been avoiding those during the day (so I can work) and passing out at night while sleeping on a heating pad.  The first time this happened, I had my pillows stacked up about 6 tall (so I could sleep somewhat propped up and still breathe), my heating pad, the air purifier, and my bottles of pills and tissues next to my bed… my sister and I laughed that my room had become a “grandma” room.  It definitely was not the most ideal set up (esp if you know me and how I like my place to look), but no one would see it anyway, so it would have to do.  I have to laugh b/c  if THAT was the grandma set up, you should see my room now!  With all the above, plus the cycler in the corner, an IV pole (for my manual dialysis exchanges), stacks of dialysis fluid boxes and an entire bookshelf of medical supplies (catheter caps, cotton swaps, antiseptic fluid, face masks, etc.) you’d think you were walking into a hospital room!  The rest of the house is not much better off since they ship about a month’s worth of supplies every few weeks… cases of dialysis fluid are stacked in just about EVERY corner of the house.   Gives me one more thing to look forward to when this is all over… SPACE!

On a brighter note, I just had the BEST week hanging out with some of my best friends… Steve was in from Boston, and Carm and Jen were in from NJ, throw in some of my besties from around the DFW area and I had a pretty full week!  Tried some new restaurants (b/c even though I do not consider myself a “foodie”, I LOVE checking out new places), got into some trouble at the Stockyards and mourned the loss of Big Tex at the State Fair.  I think we did a pretty good job leaving our mark.  😉  Just wish it didn’t have to end so quickly.  I miss ya’ll already!

Also, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put this out there, but figured, for the therapeutic part of this, I should.  For those of you wondering about the results of the speed dating I tried a few weeks ago… I did make a match.  He seemed to be pretty cool… until, that is, I had “the talk” with him regarding my health situation.  He bolted.  Although I had made it quite clear that I wasn’t asking him for anything, it was very obvious he was a bit freaked out by the whole thing.  Can’t say I blame him. I would probably be a bit wierded out if the guy I was dating just told me that he had to hook up to a machine every night and had a two-foot tube hanging from his belly.  Though, I know it wouldn’t make a lick of difference if I was really into him…which just proves what the bible of dating always says…he just wasn’t that into me.  LOL!  I’ll be honest, this wasn’t the first time this has happened, so I was almost expecting it.  I’ve learned to throw this info out there pretty early in the game so as not to be too disappointed if they can’t handle it.  I can’t exactly hide it (“oh that??  Uh, that’s just my extended belly ring!”), and it ‘s a pretty good test to see who’ll stick around!  Although, I won’t lie… it was pretty liberating to tell the guy to lose my number! hee…  It’s just one part of life that I’ve decided to put on hold while I continue “living” the rest of my life.  The whole dating thing can wait until I’m “whole” again…

****************

What I’m thankful for today:

1.  Tropicos!  (The GF version of Froot Loops…not quite the same, but they’re trying!  Jen, I think your Fruity Pebbles taste better…)
2.  Too short dinners, midnight pedicures and goofy photo ops with amazing friends!
3.  That my run in with Mr. Lexus didn’t turn out to be anything more than it was…
4.  Our HR dept, for misspelling my name (“Roberts”) in the company memo announcing my promotion.  LOL!
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4 responses

  1. I had the plural elphsion (sp) too. No fun, they “drained” the fluid via thora something I can’t remember. Basically poked a hole through my back into the lung lining with a tube sucked it out. Had that about 5 times. Worst thing ever. I feel ya girl, the positive attitude goes a long way! Keep it up!

    1. thoracentesis, and pleural effusion for clarity.

    2. Oh damn! That sounds like hella fun! Seriously, though, I’m sorry you had to go through that… I can only imagine what THAT must have felt like!

  2. I’m so glad you commented on my blog! I keep thinking of you lately but don’t have the link to your blog handy. Now I can add a link from my blog to yours so I can get to it more easily. Yes I’m soo lazy! 🙂 All I can say about this post is that I’m so glad for you that you have such good perspective. You have to deal with so much crap that it would probably be very easy to drown in it. Thinking of you often and sending lots of live your way!

    PS I like how you Identified yourself in your blog comment. As if I wouldn’t know who nacho Mama was. Lol!!!

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